


I Know

by SimplySly



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: First Time, M/M, Minor AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-27
Updated: 2006-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-24 03:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplySly/pseuds/SimplySly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: Ryan/Colin. Something different to the usual breaking up with significant others and falling into each others arms for hurt comfort sex. Maybe even something a little bit AU?</p><p>Shortly after Colin starts on Whose Line? he starts wondering if should marry Deb, or if maybe there might be something more for him with Ryan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in an Alternate Universe where Colin waited until Whose Line? before considering marrying Deb. Luke was never born, and Ryan and Pat have been married for three years now.

It wasn’t, Colin decided after the fourth failed attempt at finding his hotel room, the best idea to wander London without a map. The heat spell that hovered over the city causing lethargy and misery had finally broken, this miraculous occurrence coinciding with a day free of taping. Buoyed by the previous days’ successful taping, Colin had taken advantage of the more pleasurable weather to explore. He had only intended to be out for an hour or two at most, but that idea was quickly nixed by his getting lost. It was going on four hours now, and he had no more idea where his hotel was than when he started looking two and a half hours ago. To make matters worse, it had started raining. Exasperated, he gave up for the moment and entered one of the nearby cafe’s for extra sustenance.  
There was a line by the register, but Colin bypassed it to slide into a recently vacated table next to the window. Shortly afterwards, his teenage waitress appeared, popping her gum with every other word.

“What can I get for ya?”

“Coffee, black.” She shot him a dark look for such an unimaginative order before heading off to fill it. Colin sighed, it seemed that he was constantly disappointing people by being himself. The waitress came back and slammed a cup down before filling it and flouncing away to another table. Colin suppressed a grin, thinking of what Ryan’s reaction to such service would be. His mind supplied the look his friend would have on his face, and Colin lost it, chuckling quietly to himself.

“Hey stranger, what’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?” Colin started and turned to look at the laughing eyes of the man he had just been thinking of.

“Ryan! What are you doing here?”

“Getting coffee.” Ryan lifted his paper cup in half salute before sliding into the seat across from Colin. “The real question is what are _you_ doing here. Isn’t your hotel about ten blocks that way?”

“Well, I just thought today would be a nice day to explore.” The thunder decided to make itself known then, causing Ryan to smirk.

“Why Col, I never knew you had such a love for long walks in the rain. Does Deb know about this?” Colin glared at his friend and took a sip of his coffee.

“It wasn’t raining when I left.”

“Sure, Col. That’s what they all say.”

“Besides, what’s wrong with going for a walk in the rain?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’m just saying, that I seem to remember you not being a big fan of the rain back in Toronto.” Colin raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not like I went out of my way to avoid it.”

“True, but you always made that face of yours when you had to go out in it.”

“Face? What face?”

“You know, that face you make when it’s something you don’t really like but that you’re going to do because you have to.”

“I don’t make a face.”

“You do too. It’s something like this.” Ryan scrunched up his face. Colin burst out laughing.

“Even if I did make a face, it wouldn’t look like that! Especially not with that ugly mug of yours.”

“Yeah, like yours is any better.”

“I’m adorable.” It was now Ryan’s turn to laugh.

“I hate to break this to you, but you have a face that only your mother, and apparently Deb, could love.”

“Yeah.”

“Col? Is something wrong with you and Deb?”

“Not exactly.” That earned an eyebrow lift. They sat there in silence for a few minutes until Colin finally caved. “I just, I’m not sure anymore.”

“Not sure of what?”

“I love her.”

“No one said otherwise.”

“She’s wonderful. She’s smart, funny, talented. I don’t know why she has stuck with me as long as she has. I’ve always said that I would marry her when I knew that I could support her.”

“I sense a but.” Colin sighed. Sometimes it was bad having a friend that knew you as well as Ryan knew him.

“It’s nothing, Ryan. Really.”

“Colin.”

“Can I get you anything else?” The annoying, gum chewing waitress was back to refill Colin’s coffee, the plastic smile on her face revealing just how distasteful she found the simple order.

“No, thank you,” Colin replied.

“Are you sure? Today the muffins are on special, and the mocha cappuccinos are to die for.”

“No, thank you,” Colin repeated.

“But…”

“Look, lady,” Ryan interrupted. “We’re trying to have a conversation. We don’t want or need anything else. Why don’t you go find someone who cares?” The waitress looked affronted, but did leave to harass others.

“Why did you do that?” Ryan looked confused.

“Do what, Col?”

“That thing with the waitress. I could have handled it.”

“I’m sure you could have, my way was just quicker. Besides, she’s just hoping for a bigger tip.”

“She just was disappointed that I had a plain coffee rather than one of the more elaborate things on the menu.”

“Disappointed? She’s a waitress, Colin. It’s not up to her to be disappointed in what her customers order.” Colin looked down into the murky depths of his cup. He decided against looking in it for the answers to universe and quickly drank the rest of the coffee.

“Whose Line is really great, Ryan. Have I thanked you recently for getting me the gig?”

“Hey, I only said they should listen to you. Your talent is what got you on the show.” Colin smiled and shook his head. He had enough trouble finding work to know that it was with Ryan that he really shone. How much of that was him, and how much of that was Ryan, he still hadn’t decided.

“I should get going. It’s going to take me awhile to find the hotel again.” Ryan raised an eyebrow.

“You’re lost? How did you manage to do that?” Colin shrugged in response.

“I left my map back in my room, and like I said earlier, it was nice enough when I left.” Ryan laughed.

“OK then. How about I walk with you to make sure that you don’t end up somewhere you’re not supposed to be. Like Kent.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad!”

“How long were you trying to find the hotel before you stopped in here?”

“Would you believe me if I said not that long?”

“Do I look like an idiot?”

“Should I answer that truthfully?” The corners of Ryan’s mouth twitched as he realized that they were now playing Questions Only.

“What are you implying?”

“Don’t you know?”

“Should I be insulted?”

“Why, did someone say something?”

“Didn’t you?”

“Do you even remember?”

“Are you saying that I’m old?”

“Are you saying that you’re not?”

“Aren’t you older than I am?”

“Haven’t we gone over this already?”

“No, I don’t think… damn it.” Colin laughed and did a little victory dance in his seat.

“I win again!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least I know how to get back to the hotel.”

“Just because my sense of direction right now is a little lacking…”

“A little? Col, we’re ten blocks from the hotel, and I bet that you couldn’t even tell me which direction it’s located.”

“I could too! It’s…” Colin thought for a second before pointing the same direction that Ryan had earlier. “That way.”

“You stole that from me.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“I knew it. Well, come on my directionally challenged friend. Let us go forth and find the hotel.”

“You make it sound like a quest.”

“Isn’t it?” Colin paused to consider.

“Point made. Which one of us is the trusty sidekick?”

“If you have to ask…” Colin made a face at Ryan before standing and dropping a handful of change onto the table.

“All right then, hero. Which way do we go?” Ryan grinned and stood, draping an arm over Colin’s shoulders.

“Come, my faithful sidekick. Adventure awaits!” Colin sighed.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

*~*~*

They walked the first few blocks in silence, Ryan’s arm still slung over Colin’s shoulders. Colin didn’t mind, he rather enjoyed the warmth his friend was emitting, especially as the rain was still coming down pretty hard.

“You never said what you were having second thoughts about.” Ryan broke the silence, and Colin immediately tensed up.

“It’s nothing, Ryan. I’m just being silly.”

“Hey. This is me you’re talking too. We’ve been friends for something like a decade. I’m the only one that gets to call you silly.”

“Prat.”

“Ooooh, British slang. You’ve been hanging out with Josie too much.” Colin tilted his head up, granting the rain more access to his face.

“Do you remember when we were still in Toronto, and I got sick? You came over and brought some soup and medicine, because you knew I didn’t have any.” Ryan smiled at the memory.

“Yeah, and then you threw up all over me.”

“Hey, it was your own fault. It wasn’t like you could notice with that shirt you were wearing anyway.”

“Hey, I liked that shirt! Just because it was different, doesn’t make it bad.” Ryan dropped his arm to push lightly on Colin’s shoulder.

“No, it was the fact that it was in neon colors that clashed.” They both laughed, enjoying the easy banter.

“What brought that on, anyway?” Colin sighed.

“I was sick pretty bad last year, and Deb tried the same thing. It felt like she was my mother.”

“I’m pretty sure why they call it ‘mothering’.”

“It just, never felt that way with you. You didn’t make me feel…” Colin considered his phrasing before continuing, “weak.”

“Weak?”

“Yeah, like I couldn’t do anything for myself.”

“Well, you were sick. You shouldn’t have been doing anything for yourself.”

“I know. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“When I’m with her, I’m content. She understands that I don’t like dealing with a lot of people and often takes over in an effort to protect me. She knows how to cheer me up when I’m upset, and how to ground me when I get ahead of myself. She just sort of evens everything out.”

“Still not seeing the downside.”

“I’m content when we’re together, but I’m not happy. Shouldn’t I be ecstatic to see her again after being separated? Shouldn’t I miss her more when we’re apart? It just seems that there should be something more. Don’t you have that with Pat?” Several people pushed by them, forcing Ryan and Colin closer together. Ryan waited until the crowd had past, enabling for more personal space before speaking.

“I miss Pat when we’re apart. I miss her smile, her laugh, the way the sun hits her hair just so…but we make an effort to connect most nights, so it helps ease the ache a bit. When was the last time you talked to Deb?”

“About a week ago. She called to let me know that she had found another job in Toronto that she wanted to check out. I haven’t spoken to her since, there just wasn’t anything to say.”

“See, there’s your issue. You have to keep on talking to her, trust me.”

“You and I go months without talking and we do just fine.”

“But you and I are not dating. Besides, women need to talk. It’s something about the double X chromosome.”

“Right.”

“No, I’m serious. Even if I have nothing to say, I’m sure that Pat does. So I call, and let her do most of the talking. It’s great just to hear her voice.”

“Yeah.” By this time they had reached their hotel, and Colin was prepared to enter when Ryan grabbed his arm.

“Hey, what is it? I know this is about more than Deb.” Colin swallowed and looked at his feet.

“When I’m with you, I’m happy.” Ryan blinked.

“Yeah, so am I. What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Ryan…” Colin shook off the taller man’s grip and opened the door to the lobby. “Put that in the context of the conversation. Thanks for helping me find the hotel.”

“Wait. Colin!” Ryan stood there, staring at the glass doors separating him from his friend. He made Colin happy, but Deb didn’t? That couldn’t mean…

*~*~*~*~*

Though they were staying in the same hotel, in wasn’t until the next taping that Ryan and Colin saw each other again. It was the last taping of the season, so every one was rushing around trying to make sure that they had enough of everything while at the same time packing things they didn’t need away for someone else to use. Ryan arrived before Colin, something that happened rarely, and had nearly worked himself into a nervous wreck by the time the taping started. Colin had arrived late, hoping to postpone the inevitable confrontation between him and Ryan, and was proud that he had managed to evade the other man until just before the taping started. The show went as well as could be expected, with Ryan and Colin trying to prove to the other that nothing had changed. Colin left directly after the taping, escaping the wrap party and Ryan quite effectively. Ryan, however, was not quite so lucky and ended up being dragged along with the gang to consume no small amount of alcohol. It thus made perfect sense to Ryan that when he finally managed to return to the hotel that he should knock on Colin’s door. A lot.

“Come on, Colin. I know you’re in there. Open up.” The door cracked open, revealing a sleep disheveled Colin.

“Ryan? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Late. Early. Whatever. We have to talk, Col.”

“Couldn’t this wait for a more reasonable time?”

“We’re leaving at that more reasonable time. Are you going to let me in or not?” Colin sighed and opened the door enough to let Ryan in. Ryan immediately stumbled forward and collapsed on the bed.

“Uh, Ryan? I thought you wanted to talk.”

“I do. Come over here where I don’t have to move to see you.”

“Ok, now what?”

“I haven’t spoken to Pat in a week.”

“Ok….”

“I don’t care.”

“But…didn’t you say that you talked to her every few days?”

“Yeah…”

“And wasn’t there something in there about you missing her so much?”

“Yeah…”

“So… what changed?”

“You did.”

“I did?”

“Yep.”

“You’re drunk, aren’t you.”

“Probably.”

“Great. Are you even going to remember this in the morning?”

“Err…define morning.” Colin sighed and began to take off Ryan’s shoes. “What are you doing, Col?”

“Taking off your shoes. I don’t feel like trying to get you back to your room like this, and I would think that you wouldn’t want to sleep in your shoes.”

“Don’t want to sleep. Want to talk. Have to tell you something.”

“You can tell me in the morning.”

“Nope. Gotta tell you now.”

“All right. What is it, Ryan?”

“Pat and I talk a lot because if we don’t, we don’t know what to say to each other.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You and I never have that problem.”

“True.”

“I think I love you.”

“Oh, ok. Wait, what?”

“You heard me.”

“How exactly did we get from not calling Pat to loving me?”

“You’re here?”

“Right… Ok, how about you go to sleep Ryan. I promise, we’ll talk more in the morning.”

“Stay?”

“This is my room, where else would I go?” Colin picked up the discarded comforter and placed it over his friend before heading over to the other side of the bed and sliding underneath the covers. He clicked off the light and lay down as Ryan tossed an arm over him. “Good night, Ryan.”

“’Night, Col.” Ryan fell asleep fairly quickly, while Colin lay awake thinking about the possible meaning of Ryan declaring his love.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Ryan awoke late the next morning, blessing his high alcohol tolerance for the lack of head ache. He opened his eyes to find Colin in his room, sitting in the chair reading a book, a suitcase propped up beside him.

“Colin? What are you doing in my room?”

“Well, considering this is actually my room, I figure that I have every right to be here. Besides, you’re the one who said you wanted to talk.”

“I said that?”

“Yup.” Colin turned a page in his book.

“I said I wanted to talk?”

“Indeed. Insisted on it, in fact. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Huh. Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. But it might have something to do with how you declared your love to me.”

“I did?”

“Yup.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t remember you being the type of drunk to declare your love to every one.”

“I’m not.”

“Ah.” Another page was turned.

“Colin?”

“Yes?”

“Do you…”

“Do I…?”

“Nevermind.” Colin looked up.

“Ryan, since when has there been anything we couldn’t talk about?”

“Are you in love with me?” Colin blinked, and then gave a half smile.

“Would it matter?”

“What? Of course it would!” Colin sighed.

“You’re married, Ryan. And you love your wife. In two hours I get on a plane to go to the woman I love, and we most likely won’t speak for a few months. Whether I love you or am in love with you isn’t going to change any of that.”

“But…”

“No buts. It’s better this way, for all of us.”

“She doesn’t make you happy.”

“But she does make me content.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No one ever said it would be, or that marriage would be easy.”

“Marriage?”

“When I get back to Toronto, I’m asking Deb to marry me. For real this time.”

“You’re making that face again.”

“What face?”

“The one that you make when you don’t like what you’re doing, but you’re going to do it anyway.”

“I don’t make a face.”

“Didn’t we already have this conversation?”

“I don’t make a face. Besides, you should be getting packed.”

“Damn it, Colin! You’re not happy. As your best friend, I have a duty to make sure that you are happy.”

“No, you have a duty to tell me when I’m being an idiot. It’s Deb’s job to make sure I’m happy.”

“Then, as your best friend, you’re being an idiot.”

“What?”

“This isn’t going to happen often, ok? I love you. There, I said it.”

“Yeah….so?”

“So? So? Colin, I love you.”

“I know, I’m like a brother to you. What does that have to do the rest of the conversation?”

“No, damn it. I’m in love with you.”

“In love with me?”

“Yes.”

“You're in love with me?”

“Again, yes.”

“But, you can’t be in love with me.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re in love with Pat? Because we go months without seeing or hearing from each other? Because you don’t wake up one morning and decide to become gay? Take your pick!”

“I love Pat, but it’s a constant battle to stay interested in her life. Even when we go months without seeing or speaking to each other, don’t we always know what the other is thinking? And I didn’t just wake up and decide to become gay.”

“Then what did you do?”

“When you walked away and then spent the past week avoiding me, I realized that I never want to imagine life without you. When we’re apart, I take comfort in knowing that you are somewhere out there, and that if I wanted I could just pick up the phone and hear your voice. I thought about what life would be like if we were no longer friends, and didn’t like what I saw at all. But I can see us in the same nursing home when we’re 85, cracking jokes and annoying the nurses. I can see us growing old together, Col.”

“…I never knew you were such a sap.”

“Shut up. If you ever tell anyone, I’ll deny everything.”

“And there’s the Ryan I know and love.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“….so, is this the part where you get back in this bed and we make a big mess for the cleaning people?” Colin laughed.

“No, I think this is the part where you go back to your room and pack, because you have a flight to catch in a few hours.”

“But…”

“It’s not nice split with someone over a transatlantic phone call.”

“So…”

“Also, Deb has a lot of my stuff.” Ryan smiled.

“Does this mean...?”

“Yes, you schmuck. I’m in love with you, so we’re going to give this us thing a whirl.” Ryan jumped out of bed and grabbed Colin in a big hug.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

*~*~*~*~*

And there was sex. And more sex. Oh yes, and we can’t forget the sex. Pat was very unhappy about the divorce, but ended up remarrying two years later to a man named Luke who preformed at open mic night at a nearby bar. They had three children, and were very happy together. Deb was even more unhappy than Pat, but had sensed that something was wrong in her relationship with Colin for awhile. She married a man named James (call me Jim) and they had two children. Her career in Canada really took off, and she had several successful television and movie deals.

Ryan and Colin fought and made up more than once over the years. They attempted to keep their relationship a secret, but by the time Whose Line? transferred over to the U.S, everyone knew. It was just one of those things. Greg looked like Buddy Holly, Brad’s mind was in the gutter, and Colin and Ryan were Colin’nRyan. They didn’t quite live happily ever after, but it was pretty darn close.


End file.
